I had my principles. I had my beliefs. I have to fly with my freedom. I see a bright career up as high as the sky. And, it came to shining values.
A person’s values make a person such person. It is in human nature to behave in a certain way, to use the intelligence of mind, to use the ability of reasoning, to share a heart of love and empathy.
I am a woman, I didn’t have to join a law school to learn to argue or to defend or to attack. But the law school was the best thing that happened in me being a mediator. Although I think non-lawyers are more natural to being mediators than lawyers.
The law school taught me to take a seat – read, think, interpret, relate, calculate, and run a reality check with the information, facts, evidence, conversations – all of this at once. I did learn a very organised way of learning to approach a problem.
A combination of these basics of problem analyzing skills from law school and values as a person is what makes me who I am, or say, is what will make me who I want to be.
Three features which I believe are important for any mediator, and how values influence these features is what I reflect on, from my experience:
(1) Room energy. A conflict room is often more messed up than you can think, as a mediator. The energies of the room are depending on the people present in the room. A potpourri might not be sufficient to maintain the positive energy with comforting environment. It asks for the value of humility and generosity. If you have it in your heart, you will transcend the vibes.
(2) Open space to talk. We, humans, are naturally engineered with the ability to reason, judge, analyse, over which we have our own customs, religious following, choices, etc… but a sincere heart can never fail to create a wisdom of space for open discussions in a closed conflict room. It asks for the value of receptivity with a little courage.
(3) Gratitude in the air. If only one knows how to regard the conflict times as testing times and feel thankful for the learning which will source from these conflict times. With an immense feeling of gratitude, a person can overcome the nature of judging and be an able mediator to give a full listening ear. It asks for the value of gratitude.
We often learn skills which help us carve the best of our careers. But it takes values of a person to be such a person by heart.
This, my reflection! You can have your own reflection, 🙂 do write in comments section what more values do you think must be in the features of a mediator…