- Authenticity of Gestures
- The Significance of Mediation as a Gesture
- Kinesics in Mediation
- Mediation vs. Litigation
- A Personal Story
- Concluding remarks
- The Reality of Unreturned Gestures In this Human Egoistic World
Authenticity of Gestures
Calling for mediation, I’ve often wondered, if it could be referred to as a “gesture”. It reminds me of the customs we hold dear in India, where we bow down to elders as a sign of respect, seeking their blessings by touching their feet. The younger generation, with their barely knee-reaching bows, adds a touch of humor to this tradition. It’s akin to the flight attendants in an airplane who gracefully greet passengers with a namaste, hands folded and a warm smile. For many adults, the authenticity of this greeting is disputable.
Then there’s Rakhi, where a brother’s gesture involves giving a specific sum of money to the sister who ties the Rakhi thread. It sometimes prompts me to reflect on the authenticity of rituals we follow to maintain our relationships.
Even during joyous wedding ceremonies, where we intend to share delightful feasts with invited guests, we occasionally encounter limitations, like the mention of “invitation for 2 family members only.” And then there’s the pranam, offered before the priest at the place of prayer, which occasionally goes unnoticed if the donation amount doesn’t meet expectations, leaving me questioning the sincerity of our devotion.
In our lives, we practise numerous such gestures—some heartfelt, while others are mere formalities (or customary). Those who are aware of their surroundings (conscious), like me, could have felt no need to doubt their ability to discern the authenticity of a gesture.
The Significance of Mediation as a Gesture
So, when it comes to mediation, I can’t help but ponder: Is it just another one of these gestures, or does it hold a deeper significance? When someone calls for mediation, do they genuinely seek an honest conversation? How can I gauge the authenticity of such a call to mediate and refrain from casting doubt, allowing the situation or conversations to unfold as it may?
Imagine a challenging scenario—perhaps between spouses, co-founders, or colleagues. Left unaddressed, it could escalate into one party sending a costly legal notice. In these moments, calling for mediation can be seen as a simple invitation (gesture)—an invitation to engage in a candid discussion about the events that have led to this discord.
Or, for after the conflict is birthed: the path is conflicted, and the situation itself is an action. It matters not who is at fault; what matters is the situation’s existence. A response becomes a reaction, either soothing like ice on a burn or exacerbating like salt. Well, what other form could a reaction take…? In situations where the appropriate reaction is uncertain, I think, why not consider to call for a mediation? It could be a simple gesture that offers to create a safe space for honest exchanges, whether they bring relief or provoke deeper emotions. After-all, mediation is meant to foster truthful conversations, allowing for ethical and sincere exchanges of ideas!
Conflict situations, I’ve observed, often transcend the physical realm, involving emotional, mental, financial, reputational, and even vital dimensions. Repairing these fractures requires a close examination, one that goes beyond the surface, or say– one that will involve millions of deep conversations, And these conversations could only begin if there was a Call for Mediation!
Kinesics in Mediation
And now, let’s introduce the study of Kinesics—the study of gestures, and its importance in every mediation. Kinesics offers insights into non-verbal communication, helping us interpret gestures, postures, and expressions accurately. Understanding Kinesics is essential for mediators, as it equips them with the knowledge needed to navigate the unspoken language of mediation participants, ensuring a deeper understanding of their intentions and emotions.
The concept of “calling to mediation” could be intricately connected to the study of Kinesics in conflict resolution. When individuals initiate mediation, their non-verbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions, often reveal their true intentions and emotions. A skilled mediator, well-versed in Kinesics, could pick up on these signals, gauging the sincerity of the call and assessing the participants’ readiness. Additionally, interpreting non-verbal responses during the mediation process itself is essential for building trust, uncovering hidden tensions, and ensuring effective communication. In this way, Kinesics plays a vital role in understanding and facilitating the unspoken aspects of conflict resolution and mediation.
When writing a letter to invite someone to mediation, non-verbal cues can be expressed through words and timing. The choice of words and tone in the letter reflects sincerity and empathy, fostering trust and cooperation. Sending the invitation promptly after a conflict arises shows a commitment to resolution. Personalising the letter to address specific concerns conveys empathy and a genuine intent to mediate. The format of the letter, with clear details and professionalism, reassures parties of the mediator’s readiness. In this way, the invitation letter becomes a non-verbal gesture, signaling a sincere willingness to engage in constructive dialogue for conflict resolution.
Mediation vs. Litigation
On the other hand, I’ve noticed that litigation (or a legal notice) can often devolve into a battle over who caused the fracture, regardless of who suffered the pain.
For instance, in conflicts between spouses, it’s the children who bear the emotional brunt, and company’s profits worked upon by once-united co-founders feel the loss of their disputes. Toxicity overtakes corporate departments when some colleagues on a conflicted path force others to choose sides.
This cycle could feel never-ending.
When faced with uncertainty about how to react to a chaotic situation, could we suggest considering— “calling for mediation”? Wouldn’t’ it be a simple gesture that empowers us to take control, facilitating resolution instead of further strife? So, whether I mean mediation or not, I remind myself that, much like the gestures mentioned at the beginning of this piece, the act itself could matter. The rest would (will) follow naturally.
Therefore, my call for mediation as an intervention can be a simple yet profound gesture—a means of expressing my readiness to navigate difficult terrain and facilitate resolution, Maybe. But here we are, read further a personal story which questioned everything— the reality of human life! if i could say ….
A Personal Story
BUT if need arises, am I prepared to make this simple yet impactful gesture?
Or will I wait for my counter-person with whom I have a conflict situation to instead initiate the gesture, which is simple? No? Can’t they do this much for me– will my heart not think!?
(well, heart could have limited to feeling, and left the thinking to the mind…)
I recall a situation between friends who were now co-founders, and were at the stage where their partnership firm was now ready to be dissolved. One contributed with the knowledge, the other contributed on the business front for that knowledge. If separated, they hardly had a chance to survive by themselves in the business market. They would go on to search for a new partner, but haven’t we known that unhealed people can change people in their relationship but not the nature of the relationship? To make a relationship better, I believe, one needn’t break up to change the partner but could rather focus on the quality of the relationship because aren’t people the same everywhere? Here, one of them was referred to talk to me by another friend who thought mediation could save the day. Or perhaps, I, as a mediator, could save the day for these two friends turned co-founders. The one friend that I spoke to, I explained the entire mediation situation, and he was very convinced. He also expressed the feeling that mediation could repair the situation, so they could further have an honest discussion addressing everything. By the end of the phone call, he said, “I will think for a few days and call you back.” He didn’t call for a week, but then left a message,
“X could have also called for mediation, why must I call for mediation? … I have always been the good person, now it’s his time to be a good person and show this simple gesture of calling me for mediation.“
… How should I have responded to this message? I don’t know, even today. Just accept some reflections, maybe, here in the concluding remarks.
In a world steeped in tradition and customary gestures, the call for mediation would often go unnoticed as a simple gesture of kindness. Much like the heartfelt namaste greeting or the act of touching elders’ feet for blessings.
But the one who initiates a call for mediation has expressed a gesture that holds deep significance. It takes an extra pinch of courage in the heart to say, ‘Okay, let’s talk…‘ than the basic courage in saying, ‘I will see you in court…’
Calling for mediation— represents an invitation to bridge divides, to heal wounds, and to restore harmony in the face of conflict. It embodies the essence of understanding, empathy, and a sincere desire for resolution.
In embracing the simplicity and profound impact of the call for mediation, we could open the door to a world of possibilities. It is a simple yet potent act, a beacon of hope amidst discord, and a testament to our commitment to fostering understanding and peace.
So, the next time you find yourself in the midst of conflict or witness others doing so, remember the power of this simple gesture – the call for mediation – and its potential to create positive change in our lives and the world around us.
The Reality of Unreturned Gestures In this Human Egoistic World
But, please also be ready – to not have your gesture returned. Sorry to have us in this human-being’s made-up world filled with materialistic and societally clung living – which will be the ego behind the veil– refusing to accept your simple, profound gesture. But you know, my dear fellow human-being, you tried.
And in that attempt of trying (calling for mediation), you transcended the boundaries of conflict and offered a glimpse of the transformative power of peace.